Clean up your computer!

Posted by Somnium Exertus | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 19:13

Don't let the scruff scare you off, I figured in celebration of me fighting off the flu virus that's going around that I release my personal lineup to fight off the other kind of viruses. Yep, you'll get to know what products I use to maintain my computer. I figure it might be helpful to some of you if you find yourselves unsure of what to get. Oh yeah, everything's free, no trials!

Now that I grabbed your attention with the word free... here's a disclaimer that says this is advice, not a magic concoction that will perform miracles. It's merely my thoughts on a web page that recommend pieces of software that can work together for your maintenance needs. Anyone who gets mad at me for using my setup and then gets a virus, or their computer blows up... I will summon the forces of Darwin to remove you from the planet in a swift and hilarious manner!

I call Darwin "My Personal Silencer".
He gets rid of my "problems".

With that out of the way, let the games begin!

Be precise. Only remove what you
want to remove!
The first thing you should look into is a diet for your computer. Yes, your hard drive can hold 500GB, but if you fill it to the brim then there's barely any room for it to breathe and play. Consider finding a new spot for your 300GB worth of Full House and Who's The Boss - movies and tv shows take up a lot of space and generally are used very infrequently. Maybe you have an external drive you can put them on, or you can decide if they're really worth keeping in the first place. Regardless of what you choose, you know the biggest space hogs on your computer because with one or two exceptions, you're probably responsible for the 100 biggest files on your computer.

Alright, so your computer has gone through a quick diet, congrats! Now it's time for the personal trainer and health specialist. This tool was formerly known as Crap Cleaner, as it literally cleans the crap from your computer. To sound more professional, it's now known as CCleaner. It can surprise you how many little things can get left behind and how they build up over time.

After that intense workout your computer is slimmer. Unfortunately it now looks like swiss cheese, with holes where crap used to be, which makes it still kinda large. Think of it as still wearing your fat pants after a great diet! What you need now is a tailor to tuck things in, make pleats and give yourself a nice fitted suit. That tailor would be MyDefrag. I tend to use the weekly setting on Sunday nights and the monthly setting at the end of the month. Durr! If you haven't defragged your computer in a while or have done a lot of downloading and installing of things in a short time, go ahead and do a monthly defrag regardless of your schedule.

Do I really have to caption this?
Slim and trim in a nice pinstripe suit. Sounds great, too bad you could still be carrying the plague! Time for the cleanser who rids us of vile infections. Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware is our saviour here since it updates quickly and can get rid of some troublesome bugs that are more stubborn than average.

Oooh! Pretty logo!
Finally, the last item. To ensure you're protected against incoming threats, this puppy pulls out all the stops. Scheduled antivirus scans, firewall, a secure DNS, flux capacitor, dilithium crystals and power converters straight from Tatooine! Your first line of defense is Comodo Internet Security.

...Actually I lied. The first line of defense is yourself. What kind of computer guy would I be if I didn't blame the problem on the end user? Everyone has heard this before, but it gets said because some people like to be oblivious about computer care and security and then end up with a wreck of a computer.

Not being secure with your computer and surfing the net is just like puncturing a hole in your abdominal cavity, pulling out a few feet of your small intestine, swimming down the Amazon river and expecting to survive.

To sum up my Darwinian post on computer health, yes I'm aware that I haven't shown you how to install or use any of these programs. It's meant to encourage you to explore and learn within your comfort level. If you're proficient and comfortable with computers, you probably won't need any help. The rest of you might want to look up some information on their site about the features and look for walkthroughs of how to do stuff, or you might want to message your favourite computer geek to help you with things!

Song of the day: Pretty Lights - Hot Like Sauce
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Comments Posted (4)

  1. I love you.

  2. Any special reason? Please say it has to do with my software suggestions...

  3. Hmmm... I should probably protect my little netbook better...

  4. It's worth the trouble. Most of the things that your computer will catch seem to be more of an annoyance than anything, but I've had a case where the computer would only stay in Windows for one minute and then shut itself down, and another where the person turned it on and it appeared as if everything was missing. When you're still in school it can really suck to get tackled by computer problems when you least expect it!